When Auditions are Over it’s Just the Beginning
I have to keep telling myself this is just the beginning. I keep pushing the melancholy back, pushing out the sad thoughts of my own loss—the loss of my favorite musical theater songbird’s daily practice ringing through my home, with thoughts of her blissful happiness doing what she loves somewhere else.
After auditioning at so many schools and getting a surprising number of acceptances at more than half of the schools where she opted to complete the entire audition process,* she had her job cut out for her narrowing it down. It may not sound bad. But this part is grueling. When we started the process in August of last year, these were all schools she thought she really wanted to go to—some she would die to go to. And then hearing through the audition process that there were 30% more kids auditioning this year over last, made every single acceptance that much sweeter. But saying no to all but one was heart-wrenching after growing attached over the last eight months. She had to figure out which one was her best fit.
She weighed some dream schools, some nightmare tuitions, scholarship offers, programs within the major curriculum, faculty, and location. From the beginning there were a few top MT schools that we encouraged her to take off her list. University of Michigan and Carnegie Mellon are consistently ranked at the top for MT. But why would we allow her to apply somewhere we can’t pay for her to go? It made no sense. We don’t qualify for any sort of financial aid. And those schools don’t give money away to parents who have squeezed every penny for nearly two decades in order to save enough for college. Money in the bank doesn’t get you financial aid. But unfortunately we didn’t save enough for a $280,000 education. And if you pull in a fair level of income there won’t be any additional money thrown your way. So we get realistic real fast around here. Theatre majors shouldn’t graduate with debt. It’s a stretch that their income will support debt repayment like that. So those schools known not to give scholarships came off the list.
At first she thought she had to be in Manhattan. There were a couple of NY dream schools known to offer some scholarships. She applied to those with the caveat that if she got a good academic scholarship we might consider it. She ended up getting in to one of them—her dream school. But when they told her the total cost would be $68,000 a year and the only financial aid was $68,000 in loans, she woke up from that dream fast. 3,000 kids had auditioned and she was one of only sixteen kids they accepted. But it still had to be a “no.” And yet it was ok with her. She’s a fierce little pragmatic warrior. The cost-benefit ratio wasn’t working out and she gets that.
Fortunately we had built a solid list of schools, and she still had some recognized top programs to choose from. This saved us from complete devastation from having to say no to the Manhattan dream school. There’s something about knowing that a couple of schools that the Broadway community calls a “top” MT training ground that makes putting living in NY on hold for four years feel a little more ok. So after weighing the programs offered and their level of training, we had the clear winner.
I can now share that all the decisions are made, and our college audition journey has ended with my daughter choosing to attend the BFA Musical Theatre program at Millikin University in Decatur, Illinois. I’m thrilled that she’ll be a part of a school that’s considered a top tier program in the business she wants to build a life in. I know she will love the small campus environment and the fact that they’ll soon have a brand new, gorgeous performing arts building to house the department in all its glory. It’s easy to see her settling into this environment to focus on making herself the best performer she can be.
It’s been over a year since this journey began. And while her journey continues at Millikin, this mom’s journey in the process is coming to a close. In a few weeks her high school career will come to an end and her new journey will continue. The journey where she takes care of herself and learns how to kick ass in the new world she’s chosen to pursue. I’ll be sitting in the audience and watching. Because I’ll always be her biggest fan. This is the part of my life journey where I get to be the proud observer.
*After auditioning for some of the schools, she decided not to attend dance calls or actually apply for the university, because she saw she didn’t want to go to the school based upon the feeling she didn’t care for the auditioners/administration/faculty.
